For most people, to have a peaceful and loving relationship, filled with warmth and contentment, and free of fighting and tension, is enough. Many couples spend years or decades learning how to create that level of experience. Some go through one or more divorces before finally figuring out how to have that kind of relationship with an equal match. 

Yet, for some, it’s not enough. For them, there is a deep yearning from the soul to invoke every opportunity life can offer in order to come to the fullest expression of the divine self. This is a noble ambition, not easily done alone.. An intimate, committed relationship provides the most fertile ground for this endeavor. For it is in relationship that we are faced time and time again with a direct reflection of our self, and therefore with an opportunity to become more aware, more conscious of who and what we are. And who and what we are is big…very big. 

Within each of us is a whole constellation, or family of “selves”, or sub-personalities, all vying for attention and actualization. Some of them are at odds with each other. Many get into conflict with our partners and other people.  Typically in relationships, in order to create peace and a comfortable compatibility, we tame or repress some of those inner selves. Some of them we seem to outright suffocate or lock away, especially the ones that stir up feelings in our partners, like selfishness, flirtatiousness, sensuality, adventurousness, intellect, shyness or playfulness. We reduce our many selves down to the few that keep things safe and predictable. Some of our remaining selves do that by keeping people away or quiet. People can go on in very loving and long-term relationships like this. And there are many who will envy them.

However, there is an extremely exciting and rewarding alternative. The alternative is to use relationship of all kinds and especially a partnership as a constant source of challenge, as a teacher, as a guide in our own soul’s personal evolution of consciousness. In this model, we don’t just settle for maintaining the contented status quo, we welcome each new interaction, particularly the uncomfortable ones, as a new possibility for growth and we view relationship as a never-ending journey of discovery. 

It is possible we have an infinite amount of selves within us. Each has something to teach us. Each offers our soul a new richness of experience and perception in being human in this world. Each, when brought to awareness in healing intention and expressed with conscious authenticity, can be a new adventure and source of creativity in relation with our partner’s selves. As we become more and more deeply involved with a soul in another human being, relationship stimulates more and more of these selves to “come out and play”. 

When two people find the divine spark inside and between them and can journey forth in their relationship with this awareness,  and they can trust their intention to discover the highest expressions and gifts of each of these myriad inner selves, the tendency for synergy and creativity with the beloved other grows exponentially. The possibilities are limitless, the rewards divine, and the relationship sacred. Their relationship becomes a creative gift to the world, touching and influencing other souls to blossom and become, with them, conscious co-creators of all our world.

This is what we desire for ourselves and our “selves” and for you.